Wednesday, July 26, 2006
{ 2:19 AM }
For a full 5 weeks. I cannot be any more happier, minus all the studying that I have to do. My exams (yes, the real deal) are in 5 weeks. I'm on a so-called study break. It's all so surreal. I'm finishing my first year in 5 weeks.
I was rummaging the drawers of my used-to-be study table and i found not one, not two but THREE of my journals. Pages full of hand written history, compiled since 2001. Holy Jamaica! I couldn't resist reading and it was so addictive, once I started I couldn't stop. Seriously, like a good book - could not stop reading. Took me a whole forty plus minutes to browse through and stop at the ocassional interesting entry.
There were events where I rememebred them just as if they happened yesterday and some that I had completely no recollection of whatsoever but because I write in detail, I sorta insert that forgotten memory right back into my mind. And looking back, everything was so childish, so kiddy. There were entries of squabbles with my parents, holidays, a handful of embarassing moments but most of all, the joys and heartaches of all break ups and make ups.
And truly, I had a whirlwind of what I'd like to call my "love"life. It was such a nostalgic flashback, so much to the extent that I had to shake myself up to remind myself that that was all in the past. As beautiful, as fun, as romantic, as sweet and as puppy lovely it was, that was then.
I have good taste when it comes to guys for boyfriends. I scare myself sometimes. I'm kidding. But seriously, there are the few that have made an impact and have left a mark. So I salute the men who have been my Northern Stars.
And although, the online journal is a way to curb my fury to write. I still write, ocassionally in journal #4 for things more private and personal (which is not a lot also lah). And this is exactly why I do it. To, when free, look back and remember what my life used to be back in the day. Imagine me 10 years from now, reading my dust covered journals and thinking to myself holy crap I led such a complicating life of soap-opera-like drama.
There is a Chinese saying - bu zai hu tian chang di jiu, zhi yao cheng jing yong you; translation: it matters not the duration of ownership, what matters is that *it used to be yours somewhere, sometime before. Give me a break lah you think so easy to translate things all prim and properly meh?
*note: "it" refers to everything from high school, to friends, to ex's, to growing up and everything else that currently does not come to mind.
For a full 5 weeks. I cannot be any more happier, minus all the studying that I have to do. My exams (yes, the real deal) are in 5 weeks. I'm on a so-called study break. It's all so surreal. I'm finishing my first year in 5 weeks.
I was rummaging the drawers of my used-to-be study table and i found not one, not two but THREE of my journals. Pages full of hand written history, compiled since 2001. Holy Jamaica! I couldn't resist reading and it was so addictive, once I started I couldn't stop. Seriously, like a good book - could not stop reading. Took me a whole forty plus minutes to browse through and stop at the ocassional interesting entry.
There were events where I rememebred them just as if they happened yesterday and some that I had completely no recollection of whatsoever but because I write in detail, I sorta insert that forgotten memory right back into my mind. And looking back, everything was so childish, so kiddy. There were entries of squabbles with my parents, holidays, a handful of embarassing moments but most of all, the joys and heartaches of all break ups and make ups.
And truly, I had a whirlwind of what I'd like to call my "love"life. It was such a nostalgic flashback, so much to the extent that I had to shake myself up to remind myself that that was all in the past. As beautiful, as fun, as romantic, as sweet and as puppy lovely it was, that was then.
I have good taste when it comes to guys for boyfriends. I scare myself sometimes. I'm kidding. But seriously, there are the few that have made an impact and have left a mark. So I salute the men who have been my Northern Stars.
And although, the online journal is a way to curb my fury to write. I still write, ocassionally in journal #4 for things more private and personal (which is not a lot also lah). And this is exactly why I do it. To, when free, look back and remember what my life used to be back in the day. Imagine me 10 years from now, reading my dust covered journals and thinking to myself holy crap I led such a complicating life of soap-opera-like drama.
There is a Chinese saying - bu zai hu tian chang di jiu, zhi yao cheng jing yong you; translation: it matters not the duration of ownership, what matters is that *it used to be yours somewhere, sometime before. Give me a break lah you think so easy to translate things all prim and properly meh?
*note: "it" refers to everything from high school, to friends, to ex's, to growing up and everything else that currently does not come to mind.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
{ 4:59 AM }
I would :
1. buy heaps of books and read till my eyes can handle no more. The following are on my wish list:
a. The Take by Martina Cole
b. Night by Elie Wiesel (as seen on Oprah Winfrey)
c. One Hundred Years Of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
d. A Million Little Pieces by James Frey
e. The Husband by Dean Koontz
2. spend more time painting.
3. enjoy a full whole day of warm, sunny sunshine at the beach.
4. spend a whole day doing nothing but watch old movies and feed on salted popcorn.
5. take a road trip to KK with a map. get lost and have so much fun.
6. while in KK, visit the islands, rent out a cabin go snorkelling and sit by the a bonfire, roasting marshmallows at night. with people you love.
7. go for a lovely full body massage. every other day.
8. join a gym. doing pilates/yoga/kickboxing every morning.
9. travel. skiing in Switzerland, gambling in Crown, bungee jump in New Zealand, unleash my inner child in Disney Land Cali.
10. renovate my room. actually my house. drastically.
This is subject to personal financial capabilities and if anyone (ie. parents) would be so generous as to sponsor me.
I would :
1. buy heaps of books and read till my eyes can handle no more. The following are on my wish list:
a. The Take by Martina Cole
b. Night by Elie Wiesel (as seen on Oprah Winfrey)
c. One Hundred Years Of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
d. A Million Little Pieces by James Frey
e. The Husband by Dean Koontz
2. spend more time painting.
3. enjoy a full whole day of warm, sunny sunshine at the beach.
4. spend a whole day doing nothing but watch old movies and feed on salted popcorn.
5. take a road trip to KK with a map. get lost and have so much fun.
6. while in KK, visit the islands, rent out a cabin go snorkelling and sit by the a bonfire, roasting marshmallows at night. with people you love.
7. go for a lovely full body massage. every other day.
8. join a gym. doing pilates/yoga/kickboxing every morning.
9. travel. skiing in Switzerland, gambling in Crown, bungee jump in New Zealand, unleash my inner child in Disney Land Cali.
10. renovate my room. actually my house. drastically.
This is subject to personal financial capabilities and if anyone (ie. parents) would be so generous as to sponsor me.
Monday, July 17, 2006
{ 4:02 PM }
A phone call woke me up, the sashaying of the pak cik's ratan broom against the concrete pavement down below kept me awake. I counted till 532 and gave up when i realised it wasn't help me get back to sleep. I stared at the blank ceiling. Tossed a bit, turned a bit. Gave up on trying to sleep and changed my layout instead. Something a little different, the artsy-er side of me nudging for release.
I'm at war with my nostalgic thoughts. I hate them. They make you (me, anyway) miss and I miss things so badly that I just wanna quit 'now' and just hop back in time to how things were. When things really were much simpler and I didn't have to face the fear of growing up and making my coming entrance into the working world.
My mind is like a a treasure chest. So large that you'd need a fork lift to heave 'ho it off the ground. I sometimes scarily think that my mind has a mind of it's own and that I'm constantly at war with myself or maybe it could just be the side effects of insomnia.
I'm visiting the Courts and a firm later. A world that I could possibly be part of in the future. Pray the visit leaves a good impression.
Good morning, world.
A phone call woke me up, the sashaying of the pak cik's ratan broom against the concrete pavement down below kept me awake. I counted till 532 and gave up when i realised it wasn't help me get back to sleep. I stared at the blank ceiling. Tossed a bit, turned a bit. Gave up on trying to sleep and changed my layout instead. Something a little different, the artsy-er side of me nudging for release.
I'm at war with my nostalgic thoughts. I hate them. They make you (me, anyway) miss and I miss things so badly that I just wanna quit 'now' and just hop back in time to how things were. When things really were much simpler and I didn't have to face the fear of growing up and making my coming entrance into the working world.
My mind is like a a treasure chest. So large that you'd need a fork lift to heave 'ho it off the ground. I sometimes scarily think that my mind has a mind of it's own and that I'm constantly at war with myself or maybe it could just be the side effects of insomnia.
I'm visiting the Courts and a firm later. A world that I could possibly be part of in the future. Pray the visit leaves a good impression.
Good morning, world.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
{ 5:02 AM }
Funniest thing happened.
You know in "Just My Luck" the movie, she scratches scratch cards to determine if she has her luck back (for those of you who have yet the time to catch the movie, sorry but anyway it's not that great of a movie). I went on neopets today, first time in a long time and yes, my neopets account is still active. No big deal, they're fun ok. I swear they are. -_-
Anyway, went on to my account and bought a scratch card, just for the fun of it. I hit the bloody jack-ass jackpot and won like 2500 (neopoints la!). Does that mean a change in winds?
I freaking hope so. Seeing how tomorrow morning I will be doing the test of my life. No pressure.
I'm in the midst of doing my assignments and listening to trance. Haha. You know how the aeroplane's my zone-out area. Trance is like my zone-out music. Bloody weird. Probably cause they have NO LYRICS so my mind doesn't wander off to concentrate on what words in the song.
DJ Dean, Ferry Corsten, Busted (not the UK version), DJ Tiesto, Walt and Feliz just to name a few if you plan to limewire songs. They work for me.
Funniest thing happened.
You know in "Just My Luck" the movie, she scratches scratch cards to determine if she has her luck back (for those of you who have yet the time to catch the movie, sorry but anyway it's not that great of a movie). I went on neopets today, first time in a long time and yes, my neopets account is still active. No big deal, they're fun ok. I swear they are. -_-
Anyway, went on to my account and bought a scratch card, just for the fun of it. I hit the bloody jack-ass jackpot and won like 2500 (neopoints la!). Does that mean a change in winds?
I freaking hope so. Seeing how tomorrow morning I will be doing the test of my life. No pressure.
I'm in the midst of doing my assignments and listening to trance. Haha. You know how the aeroplane's my zone-out area. Trance is like my zone-out music. Bloody weird. Probably cause they have NO LYRICS so my mind doesn't wander off to concentrate on what words in the song.
DJ Dean, Ferry Corsten, Busted (not the UK version), DJ Tiesto, Walt and Feliz just to name a few if you plan to limewire songs. They work for me.
Monday, July 10, 2006
{ 3:07 AM }
No, not the movie. Just MY luck. Things have been horrible lately. Nothing's going my way. It's just one of those days where everything just crumbles on you.
1. My ex-room mate was a total bitch. no point inserting the details, she's not worth the time and space.
2. My mocks were..... erm great?! yea right
3. I have two assesd assignments due that I have yet to start on.
4. My present of a phone from my boyfriend suffered a huge screen crack. Pray it's fixable. fark.
5. My period's not here. double fark (I am not pregnant, all you rumour spreading whores)
All I want now is a cold shower, a hot cup of chocolate and a good sleep. Ironically, I watched Just My Luck earlier today and I just feel like Lindsay Lohan (I cant remember her on screen name) when she was suffering from her bad luck.
Look on the bright side. When one door closes two more open. And home is not too far away.
Good Night, pray you'll have better luck than me.
Tomorrow will be a better day, for me anyway.
In the midsts of all this chaos, I'd like to chill and wish my dad a great big Happy Birthday. Like heck he'll read my blog, but I want all readers to know that I have a special soft spot in my heart for my dad.
No, not the movie. Just MY luck. Things have been horrible lately. Nothing's going my way. It's just one of those days where everything just crumbles on you.
1. My ex-room mate was a total bitch. no point inserting the details, she's not worth the time and space.
2. My mocks were..... erm great?! yea right
3. I have two assesd assignments due that I have yet to start on.
4. My present of a phone from my boyfriend suffered a huge screen crack. Pray it's fixable. fark.
5. My period's not here. double fark (I am not pregnant, all you rumour spreading whores)
All I want now is a cold shower, a hot cup of chocolate and a good sleep. Ironically, I watched Just My Luck earlier today and I just feel like Lindsay Lohan (I cant remember her on screen name) when she was suffering from her bad luck.
Look on the bright side. When one door closes two more open. And home is not too far away.
Good Night, pray you'll have better luck than me.
Tomorrow will be a better day, for me anyway.
In the midsts of all this chaos, I'd like to chill and wish my dad a great big Happy Birthday. Like heck he'll read my blog, but I want all readers to know that I have a special soft spot in my heart for my dad.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
{ 9:24 PM }
I'm back in KL. My life is like a cycle. I'm always here and there, here and there. So unsettled. I'm moving around so much that I find it hard to truly settle down in KL and on the flipside of it I'm still not used to leaving Bru.
I used to hate airplanes. Everything about them disgusts me to the core. The smell, the compact toilets, the suction and annoyingly loud flushes of the toilet, the headrests on seats that stick out thus having forced to put your head in a slightly forward almost vomitting like angle. Everything, basically. But now, I think I'm getting quite used to it. It just goes to show how often I've been on a plane. Once every month, since February FYI.
Scary.
And I think I might have just found the perfect, my perfect- zone out space to read my books. On the plane. *grin* My mind doesnt drift probably because my body already is in mid air. I have no distractions - no mobile phones, no appointments to adhere to just because I can't in mid air. Two hours of reading that really absorbs. Pretty pricey for a reading place if you ask me.
The trip home was wonderful. I met up with people I haven't seen in ages. I love the June/July/August breaks because then everryyoonneee from all corners of the earth will be back. It makes for a wondeful catch up period.
I still had my daily rain or shine rummy sessions - always exercises the mind I say. There were small doses of basketball nights. Taurean was a favourite. Football fever every morning without fail at different spots. The drama - what's my life without drama, tons of them enough to last me a lifetime but that what I'd always say.
There's no place like home. There's no place like home. Now let me click my ruby red heels, close my eyes and whiz myself back there.
Three weeks and I'll be back home again. Didn't I tell you - it's a cycle.
I'm back in KL. My life is like a cycle. I'm always here and there, here and there. So unsettled. I'm moving around so much that I find it hard to truly settle down in KL and on the flipside of it I'm still not used to leaving Bru.
I used to hate airplanes. Everything about them disgusts me to the core. The smell, the compact toilets, the suction and annoyingly loud flushes of the toilet, the headrests on seats that stick out thus having forced to put your head in a slightly forward almost vomitting like angle. Everything, basically. But now, I think I'm getting quite used to it. It just goes to show how often I've been on a plane. Once every month, since February FYI.
Scary.
And I think I might have just found the perfect, my perfect- zone out space to read my books. On the plane. *grin* My mind doesnt drift probably because my body already is in mid air. I have no distractions - no mobile phones, no appointments to adhere to just because I can't in mid air. Two hours of reading that really absorbs. Pretty pricey for a reading place if you ask me.
The trip home was wonderful. I met up with people I haven't seen in ages. I love the June/July/August breaks because then everryyoonneee from all corners of the earth will be back. It makes for a wondeful catch up period.
I still had my daily rain or shine rummy sessions - always exercises the mind I say. There were small doses of basketball nights. Taurean was a favourite. Football fever every morning without fail at different spots. The drama - what's my life without drama, tons of them enough to last me a lifetime but that what I'd always say.
There's no place like home. There's no place like home. Now let me click my ruby red heels, close my eyes and whiz myself back there.
Three weeks and I'll be back home again. Didn't I tell you - it's a cycle.