Sunday, April 15, 2007
{ 9:07 AM }
My exam is in a month.
I don't even want to begin rambling about the stress and pressure. It's there and mounting, that's for sure.
Don't know if I can keep up the regime of studying 12/7. I know I have to, but I'm scared of a lurking mental breakdown.
It's 12:22AM. I'm about to go to bed. It's been a hell of a long day. I'm terribly exhausted and completely worn out.
All I want to do is crawl into bed, curl up with my pillows and switch off.
Nothing's new. Nothing will be new in terms of my social life for the next 37 days.
So much for an update.
Good night, oh giant globe, please be kind to me.
My exam is in a month.
I don't even want to begin rambling about the stress and pressure. It's there and mounting, that's for sure.
Don't know if I can keep up the regime of studying 12/7. I know I have to, but I'm scared of a lurking mental breakdown.
It's 12:22AM. I'm about to go to bed. It's been a hell of a long day. I'm terribly exhausted and completely worn out.
All I want to do is crawl into bed, curl up with my pillows and switch off.
Nothing's new. Nothing will be new in terms of my social life for the next 37 days.
So much for an update.
Good night, oh giant globe, please be kind to me.
Friday, April 13, 2007
{ 6:33 PM }
Let your guard down.
Do not worry, have no fears.
Wipe your eyes, save those tears.
The difference now is that we're stepping out together.
We will be ok :)
Let your guard down.
Do not worry, have no fears.
Wipe your eyes, save those tears.
The difference now is that we're stepping out together.
We will be ok :)
We're all proud people, overtly cautious. Always scared of hurting people, but even more so of hurting ourselves.
There's only so much pain and heartache you can take. After the fall, after every battle, you place your palms firmly on the ground, look up at the faces of those who taunt you and lift yourself up again. Then, glance at them again, their faces now horrified of such determination, such strength. Laugh a bit, lift your head up and walk right past them.
Then you start on a whole new adventure. Soul searching, self healing. Finding out who you really are, what you're course in life is.
It's scary but hold the hands of those who have offered you comfort.
Walk straight. The devil's temptation is all around you, walk straight.
There's only so much pain and heartache you can take. After the fall, after every battle, you place your palms firmly on the ground, look up at the faces of those who taunt you and lift yourself up again. Then, glance at them again, their faces now horrified of such determination, such strength. Laugh a bit, lift your head up and walk right past them.
Then you start on a whole new adventure. Soul searching, self healing. Finding out who you really are, what you're course in life is.
It's scary but hold the hands of those who have offered you comfort.
Walk straight. The devil's temptation is all around you, walk straight.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
{ 7:28 AM }
Empathy.
I'm full of it.
Empathy.
You're full of it.
Not a good thing.
The sudden urges are the ones to beware of. Stay most away from. Wise words from a man I barely know.
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. You are my happy thought.
Reminder. Everything is going to be alright.
You and I we have big hearts. We'll release, we'll let go.
We'll love ourselves more than anyone else. Then we become untouchable, immortal.
Reminder. Everything is going to be alright.
Empathy.
I'm full of it.
Empathy.
You're full of it.
Not a good thing.
The sudden urges are the ones to beware of. Stay most away from. Wise words from a man I barely know.
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. You are my happy thought.
Reminder. Everything is going to be alright.
You and I we have big hearts. We'll release, we'll let go.
We'll love ourselves more than anyone else. Then we become untouchable, immortal.
Reminder. Everything is going to be alright.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
{ 7:13 AM }
Girls - we're not all bitchy and canniving. Sure, we can be at times, well most of the time, but within our own circle of friends, the word 'bitch' has a positive ring to it.
We bitch about other people, whenever opportunity allows for. We're girls for goodness sake. We only do it for amusement, it's innate to us, we can't help it. That's ONE side to us.
Within our own circle of friends (by this I mean the people you trust enough to bitch about other people with), we're tight like an unopened bottle of Perrier.
We celebrate our transition into womanhood together. We've got each others backs. We swoon over hot male celebrities together. We laugh and exchange bedroom stories ( men beware, we do it too!). We cry to each other in our most depressing moments. And yes, we gossip.
I have a handful of girls, and that circle is growing. It feels good to be a girl.
Shoutout to a very special lady. WC. Everything's going to be fine and dandy soon enough. We're so similar, both February babies, Pisceans. If I'm alright you will be too. Remember, put yourself first before anything else. If all else fail, I'm right here.
Girls - we're not all bitchy and canniving. Sure, we can be at times, well most of the time, but within our own circle of friends, the word 'bitch' has a positive ring to it.
We bitch about other people, whenever opportunity allows for. We're girls for goodness sake. We only do it for amusement, it's innate to us, we can't help it. That's ONE side to us.
Within our own circle of friends (by this I mean the people you trust enough to bitch about other people with), we're tight like an unopened bottle of Perrier.
We celebrate our transition into womanhood together. We've got each others backs. We swoon over hot male celebrities together. We laugh and exchange bedroom stories ( men beware, we do it too!). We cry to each other in our most depressing moments. And yes, we gossip.
I have a handful of girls, and that circle is growing. It feels good to be a girl.
Shoutout to a very special lady. WC. Everything's going to be fine and dandy soon enough. We're so similar, both February babies, Pisceans. If I'm alright you will be too. Remember, put yourself first before anything else. If all else fail, I'm right here.
Monday, April 09, 2007
{ 10:21 AM }
The weekend's over. It was hell of a good one.
Speedzone 2007, the rave in conjunction with the F1 in Malaysia, was awesome. There's no better word to describe it. It was supercalifragaliticaspialidocious.
The company was even better. The girls and the guys were amazing. It made the weekend that much better. The chaos, the franticness of it all, it was a break away from my studying habits.
It was so good to the extent that I completely lost sense of my studying zone. I'm currently trying to get it back.
Pictures soon.
The weekend's over. It was hell of a good one.
Speedzone 2007, the rave in conjunction with the F1 in Malaysia, was awesome. There's no better word to describe it. It was supercalifragaliticaspialidocious.
The company was even better. The girls and the guys were amazing. It made the weekend that much better. The chaos, the franticness of it all, it was a break away from my studying habits.
It was so good to the extent that I completely lost sense of my studying zone. I'm currently trying to get it back.
Pictures soon.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
{ 7:39 AM }
You had your chances. Don't say I never gave you any. Taken for granted, that's what I would call it.
You found my weakness. You played it to your advantage. The only thing you didn't count on was that this girl, this being of a supposedly lower class to you, actually has a brain.
And this time she says enough is enough.
It sure as hell isn't going to be easy walking away but I know my determination exists.
I'm doing fine, thank you very much and one phone call and a txt message isn't going to do enough good anymore, not this time.
Try that game one someone else who might fall for it.
I'm sorry but you just ran out of get-out-of-jail cards.
You had your chances. Don't say I never gave you any. Taken for granted, that's what I would call it.
You found my weakness. You played it to your advantage. The only thing you didn't count on was that this girl, this being of a supposedly lower class to you, actually has a brain.
And this time she says enough is enough.
It sure as hell isn't going to be easy walking away but I know my determination exists.
I'm doing fine, thank you very much and one phone call and a txt message isn't going to do enough good anymore, not this time.
Try that game one someone else who might fall for it.
I'm sorry but you just ran out of get-out-of-jail cards.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
{ 5:45 PM }
My life is funny, then again, whose isn't?
It has a funny way of twisting things around for me. It's almost as if we're in battle, me trying to settle down in comfort, she, constantly reminding me to look outside my comfort zone, putting me to the test.
My life - it's definitely 'interesting', as many have told me, not dull and mundane. That's one side of the coin. Dramatic, exhausting, sickening. That's my side of the coin.
Just when I've reached the highway and can afford to click myself into auto pilot, I hit a pot hole.
It's a good reminder, I feel, though.
A reminder that it never is on auto pilot, life. It should never be.
Even if on a personal level, things are well, we need to convince ourselves that there's more that we can do for this deflating sphere of green and blue we call earth. The comfort zone should not exist.
Until we accustom ourselves to the idea that that 'discomfort' can be a thoroughly satisfying breath of crisp, fresh air, everyday will just be another dull, monotonous day.
Yesterday like today, today like tomorrow, a cycle.
It's all about how you live your life. Everyday is a battle, that's what makes it so much more interesting, so much more worthwhile and challenging to know that you could emerge victorious in the end.
It's Thursday today and I feel so much discomfort.
My life is funny, then again, whose isn't?
It has a funny way of twisting things around for me. It's almost as if we're in battle, me trying to settle down in comfort, she, constantly reminding me to look outside my comfort zone, putting me to the test.
My life - it's definitely 'interesting', as many have told me, not dull and mundane. That's one side of the coin. Dramatic, exhausting, sickening. That's my side of the coin.
Just when I've reached the highway and can afford to click myself into auto pilot, I hit a pot hole.
It's a good reminder, I feel, though.
A reminder that it never is on auto pilot, life. It should never be.
Even if on a personal level, things are well, we need to convince ourselves that there's more that we can do for this deflating sphere of green and blue we call earth. The comfort zone should not exist.
Until we accustom ourselves to the idea that that 'discomfort' can be a thoroughly satisfying breath of crisp, fresh air, everyday will just be another dull, monotonous day.
Yesterday like today, today like tomorrow, a cycle.
It's all about how you live your life. Everyday is a battle, that's what makes it so much more interesting, so much more worthwhile and challenging to know that you could emerge victorious in the end.
It's Thursday today and I feel so much discomfort.
Monday, April 02, 2007
{ 10:45 AM }
The past month has been rough, but I optimistically welcome April and all that she brings. I am out of my slump and I couldn't have done it without you. Things are falling into place, just like you said they would, like little pieces to the puzzle coming together.
I wish there was a more contemporary way to string beautiful words together to tell you how much you mean to me and the impact you have made in my life. But the conventional expressions, although extremely overrated, do justice.
You have been my strength, my motivation to move forward. In times of despair and almost succumbing to defeat, I remember the faith you have in me. Your words of encouragement, they bring me great comfort. Your gestures of kindness, they calm me.
For all that you have done to me and for me, I am beyond grateful. My word, I give you, that I will do the same for you.
I found my silver lining in you.
You know who you are. Thank you, really. (wanted to post pictures, took forever to load!)
The past month has been rough, but I optimistically welcome April and all that she brings. I am out of my slump and I couldn't have done it without you. Things are falling into place, just like you said they would, like little pieces to the puzzle coming together.
I wish there was a more contemporary way to string beautiful words together to tell you how much you mean to me and the impact you have made in my life. But the conventional expressions, although extremely overrated, do justice.
You have been my strength, my motivation to move forward. In times of despair and almost succumbing to defeat, I remember the faith you have in me. Your words of encouragement, they bring me great comfort. Your gestures of kindness, they calm me.
For all that you have done to me and for me, I am beyond grateful. My word, I give you, that I will do the same for you.
I found my silver lining in you.
You know who you are. Thank you, really. (wanted to post pictures, took forever to load!)
***
Ms. Kelly Emas came down to SJ today for a visit. The fiery redhead was such a pleasure to meet. Ironically, we've been here for the past year and a half and tonight's meet up was the first of its kind, but definitely not the last, on Malaysian soil.
She's still the same, squeals and all. We reminisced about old counter strike days and moped about the pains of growing up and the big R word that tags along like a shadow. Responsibility - it's called. Over drinks we rekindled our friendship; her with her bottle of Tiger, me with my teh-o ice limau.
It was such a pleasure, thanks Jo. I will see you on Saturday you crazy girl. Trucker cap, tank top, cargo pants and sneakers, got it. You have to shuffle for me, baby.
She's still the same, squeals and all. We reminisced about old counter strike days and moped about the pains of growing up and the big R word that tags along like a shadow. Responsibility - it's called. Over drinks we rekindled our friendship; her with her bottle of Tiger, me with my teh-o ice limau.
It was such a pleasure, thanks Jo. I will see you on Saturday you crazy girl. Trucker cap, tank top, cargo pants and sneakers, got it. You have to shuffle for me, baby.
***
Easter break! It's here but it feels nothing like a break. On the contrary, we expect to work double time. Wake up earlier than usual, sleep later than usual. The exams are in less thank two months away. Nail biting thought.
As much as I want to say my grades do not matter, as long as I try my best, society disagrees. And in such a circumstance, society wins.
I am eager for the weekend to arrive. The girls will be here and it will be an exhausting weekend of raves, club hopping and extreme shopping. It also promises to be one of the best getaways from law books and statutes.
As much as I want to say my grades do not matter, as long as I try my best, society disagrees. And in such a circumstance, society wins.
I am eager for the weekend to arrive. The girls will be here and it will be an exhausting weekend of raves, club hopping and extreme shopping. It also promises to be one of the best getaways from law books and statutes.