Sunday, August 26, 2007
{ 9:12 PM }
It's a sinking feeling I can't quite describe in words. Certain things in this world are inevitable, we know that, I know that. But certain things just shock you beyond comprehension and not in a good way too.
It's all about the money, Meja sings. It always has been and probably always will be. That's why I approach the recent article in the Borneo Bulletin about having a drug free ASEAN by 2015 with great skepticism.
So the point of this post is that I am angry and filled with guilt, love and great admiration even if it may not apparent in my writing. People born with silver spoons in their mouths will never understand what it's like to see parents, mine and others, work so hard, day and night, missing lunch hours and dinners, working extra hours and on Sundays, slaves to the currency, to provide their children, my sister and I included, with the lifestyle that they (we) have.
There's a pressure, and expectation, a burden if you may, on me to do well (and I do want to do well) to give my parents back the lifestyle that they have given me. There has never been a time that I wanted something material that my parents have failed to purchase with a swipe of their plastics. There has never been a year, before I left for university, that my family wouldn't go on end of year, out-of-town trips. There has never been a time that I've been rejected when wanting to top up my emptying purse.
I am grateful, I just hope they and everyone else sees it.
So, there!
It's a sinking feeling I can't quite describe in words. Certain things in this world are inevitable, we know that, I know that. But certain things just shock you beyond comprehension and not in a good way too.
It's all about the money, Meja sings. It always has been and probably always will be. That's why I approach the recent article in the Borneo Bulletin about having a drug free ASEAN by 2015 with great skepticism.
So the point of this post is that I am angry and filled with guilt, love and great admiration even if it may not apparent in my writing. People born with silver spoons in their mouths will never understand what it's like to see parents, mine and others, work so hard, day and night, missing lunch hours and dinners, working extra hours and on Sundays, slaves to the currency, to provide their children, my sister and I included, with the lifestyle that they (we) have.
There's a pressure, and expectation, a burden if you may, on me to do well (and I do want to do well) to give my parents back the lifestyle that they have given me. There has never been a time that I wanted something material that my parents have failed to purchase with a swipe of their plastics. There has never been a year, before I left for university, that my family wouldn't go on end of year, out-of-town trips. There has never been a time that I've been rejected when wanting to top up my emptying purse.
I am grateful, I just hope they and everyone else sees it.
So, there!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
{ 11:03 AM }
I don't know what it feels like to say the words "I love you" to someone and to not get the same reaction back. But I can figure out how shitty that must feel like.
Playing basketball for two and half hours hours non stop makes you feel weak in the knees and so nauseous. But I'd do it again, any given day. I love the game.
Would you ever date someone outside your normal social circumstance? No, seriously could you date someone completely different from you, and the world you live in? Someone none of your friends could possibly get along with, whose social circle is far from similar to yours, whose national language is different from that of yours, whose race, colour and culture - totally opposite. Really? Just wondering.
I think I'm such a gambler. Poker, rummy, 13 cards, Big 2, traffic lights - bring it, I'm game. I think I'm destined to be poor for life. Whoever said smoking kills, obviously never gambled.
One more month till it's bye, bye baby and hello frezzingly, dull London. Not much thoughts on that, very bittersweet.
Does anyone know who clears up dead carcass' in the middle of the street? There's a dead animal in the middle of the high way. It's been there for oh, say 5 days and it's stinks. Never drive by dead carcass' with the windows down. I wonder how long it'll take for it to tun to dust.
My facebook poker server is down for maintenance, so it's good night.
I don't know what it feels like to say the words "I love you" to someone and to not get the same reaction back. But I can figure out how shitty that must feel like.Playing basketball for two and half hours hours non stop makes you feel weak in the knees and so nauseous. But I'd do it again, any given day. I love the game.
Would you ever date someone outside your normal social circumstance? No, seriously could you date someone completely different from you, and the world you live in? Someone none of your friends could possibly get along with, whose social circle is far from similar to yours, whose national language is different from that of yours, whose race, colour and culture - totally opposite. Really? Just wondering.
I think I'm such a gambler. Poker, rummy, 13 cards, Big 2, traffic lights - bring it, I'm game. I think I'm destined to be poor for life. Whoever said smoking kills, obviously never gambled.
One more month till it's bye, bye baby and hello frezzingly, dull London. Not much thoughts on that, very bittersweet.
Does anyone know who clears up dead carcass' in the middle of the street? There's a dead animal in the middle of the high way. It's been there for oh, say 5 days and it's stinks. Never drive by dead carcass' with the windows down. I wonder how long it'll take for it to tun to dust.
My facebook poker server is down for maintenance, so it's good night.