Sunday, May 25, 2008
{ 8:16 PM }
Surprisingly, the most unexpected people are sometimes most able in piecing the right words together to express the things you've been meaning to say but feel a sort of inadequacy in expressing the fullness and depth of that emotion.
Blog hopping on a lazy sunday afternoon, I came across a guy, a drug infused, high 2 4 7 slacker dude. He managed to put the words right in my mouth about his great passion, which is funnily enough in sync with mine.
The thing is, although first impressions count, I'd rather stick to the 'don't judge a book by its cover' rule. You never know what you can discover about yourself in other people, or how everyone has something to offer. It helps to listen, absorb and analyse all the small things.
Surprisingly, the most unexpected people are sometimes most able in piecing the right words together to express the things you've been meaning to say but feel a sort of inadequacy in expressing the fullness and depth of that emotion.
Blog hopping on a lazy sunday afternoon, I came across a guy, a drug infused, high 2 4 7 slacker dude. He managed to put the words right in my mouth about his great passion, which is funnily enough in sync with mine.
The thing is, although first impressions count, I'd rather stick to the 'don't judge a book by its cover' rule. You never know what you can discover about yourself in other people, or how everyone has something to offer. It helps to listen, absorb and analyse all the small things.
Friday, May 23, 2008
{ 7:32 AM }
There's a difference in thinking you're grown up and actually have time creep up on you and sound off alarm bells telling you that you're actually grown up and you just have no choice but to act like one now.
I am going back in 5 weeks. I can't wait but on the other hand I'm anxious to find out what lies ahead, what my road map will look like.
What do you do when you think that someone you really, really, really care about is having an affair? Or cheating on her husband? I cannot help but flare up my defences and protect her, almost like an automatic response.
The hardest thing ever is to lose your mother. The goddess like figure who exudes strength, serenity and love. There is very little I can say or do to ease the pain or to lighten your breath. I feel your pain and I grief for you, old friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you constantly and may God bless her soul.
There's a difference in thinking you're grown up and actually have time creep up on you and sound off alarm bells telling you that you're actually grown up and you just have no choice but to act like one now.
I am going back in 5 weeks. I can't wait but on the other hand I'm anxious to find out what lies ahead, what my road map will look like.
*****
What do you do when you think that someone you really, really, really care about is having an affair? Or cheating on her husband? I cannot help but flare up my defences and protect her, almost like an automatic response.
*****
The hardest thing ever is to lose your mother. The goddess like figure who exudes strength, serenity and love. There is very little I can say or do to ease the pain or to lighten your breath. I feel your pain and I grief for you, old friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you constantly and may God bless her soul.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
{ 4:50 PM }
I can't begin to imagine how the real world will be like. I have no clue where to start. For now, I'm just doing a whole lot of chilling, trying to set my mind straight, figuring out what I should be doing, where I should be heading and thinking of all the responsibilities that will be thrown in my direction.
That aside, my holiday so far has been blissfully uneventful, just the way I like it.
You know as much as I dislike this country, I think I will miss it. The people I've met, the many joys and, come to think of it, very few sorrows, the eye opening experiences, the challenges and the great travels, everything has directed the course of my life.
I know that I will never be able to get this back, so this post is a note to self to remember my time in the UK.
I can't begin to imagine how the real world will be like. I have no clue where to start. For now, I'm just doing a whole lot of chilling, trying to set my mind straight, figuring out what I should be doing, where I should be heading and thinking of all the responsibilities that will be thrown in my direction.
That aside, my holiday so far has been blissfully uneventful, just the way I like it.
You know as much as I dislike this country, I think I will miss it. The people I've met, the many joys and, come to think of it, very few sorrows, the eye opening experiences, the challenges and the great travels, everything has directed the course of my life.
I know that I will never be able to get this back, so this post is a note to self to remember my time in the UK.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
{ 5:07 AM }
A longgg while back, I lamented on how people, my mother in particular, could spend so much money on a bag. I once told someone that I would never be like that. A few years down the road, I look back and realise how silly I was to have said that because I've inherited my mother's gene of liking beautifully constructed things.
It seems shallow but there's a greater depth to it all. Or maybe its just self satisfaction.
After much anticipation, welcome to the family.
A longgg while back, I lamented on how people, my mother in particular, could spend so much money on a bag. I once told someone that I would never be like that. A few years down the road, I look back and realise how silly I was to have said that because I've inherited my mother's gene of liking beautifully constructed things.
It seems shallow but there's a greater depth to it all. Or maybe its just self satisfaction.
After much anticipation, welcome to the family.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
{ 2:42 PM }
I've finished my exams. Oh, joy! Somehow, less hype less excitement this year. Maybe because there's a sort of sadness behind it all, me leaving my friends who I've gotten to know and love, the end of my university years, assuming the search for a Masters is not lurking in the dark, and just starting a whole new chapter of my life.
I've been thinking a lot about what I want to come out of my life, what kind of a person I want to be remembered as, what impact will I make. Things that a lot of people take for granted but are very important to me. I don't believe in taking life day by day, although that is sometimes how I feel when I am lost and uncertain of what next to do. I think we have to look at the bigger picture, aim for bigger, greater things. Don't settle for anything less than what you know you can do.
So what's next for me? I really don't know. Ask me if I have dreams, I can tell you plenty. Ask me how to make them real, I haven't figured that out yet.
I just don't want to be just another knob in the work wheel. I don't want to be 50 look back and see that I've not achieved anything. I want to see the world, both land and sea. I want a career, whatever it may be. I want to help people, see a change made in my lifetime. I want to make a difference, to have my foot prints imprinted on earth. I want to know that I did not just pass by.
I want to fall in love, to yearn and long for someone, to be willing to set everything aside and do anything for him. I want to remember what that was like. To love someone so hard that you get exhausted. To scream, yell and break down, only to realise that you love him that much. To talk about the future, what we want to do, to have direction and goals and to work hard for them.
I want my existence to be felt. I do not want to scratch surfaces, I want to implant my presence. I want to look back, exhausted and feel satisfied with what I've done.
Happy holidays!
I've finished my exams. Oh, joy! Somehow, less hype less excitement this year. Maybe because there's a sort of sadness behind it all, me leaving my friends who I've gotten to know and love, the end of my university years, assuming the search for a Masters is not lurking in the dark, and just starting a whole new chapter of my life.
I've been thinking a lot about what I want to come out of my life, what kind of a person I want to be remembered as, what impact will I make. Things that a lot of people take for granted but are very important to me. I don't believe in taking life day by day, although that is sometimes how I feel when I am lost and uncertain of what next to do. I think we have to look at the bigger picture, aim for bigger, greater things. Don't settle for anything less than what you know you can do.
So what's next for me? I really don't know. Ask me if I have dreams, I can tell you plenty. Ask me how to make them real, I haven't figured that out yet.
I just don't want to be just another knob in the work wheel. I don't want to be 50 look back and see that I've not achieved anything. I want to see the world, both land and sea. I want a career, whatever it may be. I want to help people, see a change made in my lifetime. I want to make a difference, to have my foot prints imprinted on earth. I want to know that I did not just pass by.
I want to fall in love, to yearn and long for someone, to be willing to set everything aside and do anything for him. I want to remember what that was like. To love someone so hard that you get exhausted. To scream, yell and break down, only to realise that you love him that much. To talk about the future, what we want to do, to have direction and goals and to work hard for them.
I want my existence to be felt. I do not want to scratch surfaces, I want to implant my presence. I want to look back, exhausted and feel satisfied with what I've done.
Happy holidays!