Sunday, June 29, 2008
{ 4:09 PM }
When I touch down, assuming that I am not all jet-lagged and groggy from the air sickness, I want to:
a. get a manicure/pedicure, it's been too long.
b. thread/pluck my eyebrows!
c. get a full 90minute massage, oh yeah.
d. Eat chicken rice, despite the 20c increment. (20cents is less than 10p!)
e. clean the big empty en suite room to make it mine!
f. unpack =(
g. hide from the heat
h. bounce around in joy, I'm coming home!!
When I touch down, assuming that I am not all jet-lagged and groggy from the air sickness, I want to:
a. get a manicure/pedicure, it's been too long.
b. thread/pluck my eyebrows!
c. get a full 90minute massage, oh yeah.
d. Eat chicken rice, despite the 20c increment. (20cents is less than 10p!)
e. clean the big empty en suite room to make it mine!
f. unpack =(
g. hide from the heat
h. bounce around in joy, I'm coming home!!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
{ 2:13 PM }
Why do we always pick the things that are most harmful to us? I am in such a tough spot now. It's is pretty complicating, I can't get my thoughts right. Either that or I'm just complicating things up myself. Hmm..
I love being with my family. I'm so glad they're here in London with me. Their frantic-ness and craziness keeps a lot of things off my mind. I don't think I'm quite ready to reveal what's going on just yet. Plus it's really nothing new. So, I'll open up when I'm ready but for now everything's not fine, not dandy, not peachy, but everything's under control.
I'm going to miss this place when I leave. =(
p.s. I've officially graduated. Congratulations everyone. You know I love you and miss you all. I'll most definitely be making a trip to KL soon. <3
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
{ 6:08 PM }
I've given up on sleeping. It's ten past two in the morning and I'm aggravated. I have to be up at half past four to meet my family at Heathrow. They're here for my convo, can you believe it? I'm graduating!
At this rate, I might as well stay awake till half four. I'm ecstatic they're coming! I haven't seen them in months. I'm annoyed that I can't fall asleep, knowing that I have to play tour guide when they arrive.
I was talking to a great friend (you can never have to many of those kinds) earlier and he was telling me how excited and hyped up he was about his life and his plans to save human kind, somewhere along that line. And I wondered where my motivation has gone.
I had those plans, the excitement that when I graduate I'd take a year or two off to travel and do lots of charity work, for children, for communities, for peace. And now, all I can think of is going back home, putting off job searching as much as possible, lazing and just enjoying life. Where is my motivation or have I just become too much of a realist to see that I am no superwoman.
My life is in Brunei. I grew up there, most of my friends are there, my closest family members, my home. So really, how do i venture outwards of my very comfortable zone again?
I think everything will fall into place once I reach home, and start from there.
I can't sleep! This is killing me...
I've given up on sleeping. It's ten past two in the morning and I'm aggravated. I have to be up at half past four to meet my family at Heathrow. They're here for my convo, can you believe it? I'm graduating!
At this rate, I might as well stay awake till half four. I'm ecstatic they're coming! I haven't seen them in months. I'm annoyed that I can't fall asleep, knowing that I have to play tour guide when they arrive.
I was talking to a great friend (you can never have to many of those kinds) earlier and he was telling me how excited and hyped up he was about his life and his plans to save human kind, somewhere along that line. And I wondered where my motivation has gone.
I had those plans, the excitement that when I graduate I'd take a year or two off to travel and do lots of charity work, for children, for communities, for peace. And now, all I can think of is going back home, putting off job searching as much as possible, lazing and just enjoying life. Where is my motivation or have I just become too much of a realist to see that I am no superwoman.
My life is in Brunei. I grew up there, most of my friends are there, my closest family members, my home. So really, how do i venture outwards of my very comfortable zone again?
I think everything will fall into place once I reach home, and start from there.
I can't sleep! This is killing me...
Sunday, June 22, 2008
{ 4:52 PM }
When something terrible happens to me I curl up in bed, dig up all past horrific incidents that have occurred, cry (sometimes) my eyes out, and sleep.
I think that is my fix.
So now, something bad has happened. I am restless, my heartbeat is escalating, my palms are sweaty. What have I done?
I don't think I can fix this.
Let it pass, it is only a feeling, one that control can be exercised over. It's just temporary. So grab hold of those reins and take control of your life. This is what you want, even freedom has a price. Now you've got it so immerse yourself in it, soak yourself completely in it, breathe it in and realise that you've got what you wanted. No more looking back, the streets ahead glow brightly. This is only temporary.
When something terrible happens to me I curl up in bed, dig up all past horrific incidents that have occurred, cry (sometimes) my eyes out, and sleep.
I think that is my fix.
So now, something bad has happened. I am restless, my heartbeat is escalating, my palms are sweaty. What have I done?
I don't think I can fix this.
Let it pass, it is only a feeling, one that control can be exercised over. It's just temporary. So grab hold of those reins and take control of your life. This is what you want, even freedom has a price. Now you've got it so immerse yourself in it, soak yourself completely in it, breathe it in and realise that you've got what you wanted. No more looking back, the streets ahead glow brightly. This is only temporary.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
{ 2:32 PM }
Have you ever put so much thought into something that you completely lose track of what the core issue was in the first place?
It's like telling a lie and believing it so much to an extent that it almost is true, losing sight. Opportunity cost - it's such a painful word in context, gaining one thing and losing another. I am so confused, I can't sort my thoughts out right, I'm reasoning with all the wrong reasons, I'm losing sight of what's important.
I know the only person that can help me is myself, but for this once I want someone to command me to do something, like I don't have an alternative, and I do it.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
{ 5:19 PM }
This is what the three stooges do when their big sisters are not around. I see you little boy, you look painfully familiar to someone I know. Lucky you, lucky us. I miss you all and I cannot wait to be back.
I spent the whole day packing today and I am proud to say that I am 70% through. Just the few odds and ends to clear.
It's so scary to say goodbye to the people that you've spend and awfully long time with. Congratulations everyone on graduating with a fcuking LAW degree. Three cheers to all the upcoming lawyers, politicians, economists, financial advisors and the lost souls. It was an amazing ride and one that I will not ever, ever lose sight of, even if I wanted to.
I am honoured, proud and very sad to be graduating with you lot. This is THE beginning of the dream making process, THE beginning to sculpting our lives and determining the person we will become. Hold on tight, for we are small people wanting better things for ourselves, bigger changes in life, I can sense it in all of you. So with all sincerity, I wish all of you luck and remember that life tends to throw you around sometimes, but never give up and look ahead.
I love you all immensely and thank you so much for all the lessons that you have taught me and for being great pillars of support. I will visit soon, promise.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
{ 4:10 AM }
It's true, for me at least, that when things happen, the first people you want to share them with are your family and closest friends.
With plans for a big arse Lexus and a driver, the idea of the NBT treasure hunt 2008 sounds a little to over the top but it made my day.
I cannot wait to go home.
It's true, for me at least, that when things happen, the first people you want to share them with are your family and closest friends.
With plans for a big arse Lexus and a driver, the idea of the NBT treasure hunt 2008 sounds a little to over the top but it made my day.
I cannot wait to go home.
Monday, June 09, 2008
{ 12:50 PM }
To say that I'm satisfied would be a lie. To say that I do not deserve it, it's not my place. My results came out today and I was overwhelmed with a LOT of emotions. Not so much dissatisfaction but more... confusion. The only thing that's left to do is to accept what you've been given and find a way to work around the potholes.
Post emotional distress, congratulations everyone. I am grateful for you trying to withold your excitement and happiness from me but please, it is your right and know that I am happy for you too. Thank you for being such wonderful friends. I know I will miss you all la! *gulps*
Everyone's worked hard and we're all graduating, not in alone, not apart (except for you, moo) but together.
Thank you again for today.
To say that I'm satisfied would be a lie. To say that I do not deserve it, it's not my place. My results came out today and I was overwhelmed with a LOT of emotions. Not so much dissatisfaction but more... confusion. The only thing that's left to do is to accept what you've been given and find a way to work around the potholes.
Post emotional distress, congratulations everyone. I am grateful for you trying to withold your excitement and happiness from me but please, it is your right and know that I am happy for you too. Thank you for being such wonderful friends. I know I will miss you all la! *gulps*
Everyone's worked hard and we're all graduating, not in alone, not apart (except for you, moo) but together.
Thank you again for today.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
{ 2:38 PM }
9 months.
23 pairs of shoes.
13 bags.
4 pillows.
2 stuffed toys.
2 laptops
1 basketball.
1 badminton racket.
A wardrobe overflowing with clothes.
A printer.
A treasure box full of acessories; necklaces, bracelets, rings, belts, scarves etc.
Make up.
Books.
The point is I need help packing.
9 months.
23 pairs of shoes.
13 bags.
4 pillows.
2 stuffed toys.
2 laptops
1 basketball.
1 badminton racket.
A wardrobe overflowing with clothes.
A printer.
A treasure box full of acessories; necklaces, bracelets, rings, belts, scarves etc.
Make up.
Books.
The point is I need help packing.