Tuesday, November 25, 2008
{ 9:14 AM }
December is just around the bend. And it's times like this when I ask, "Where did time go?"
It's the same for case of fear and anxiety for me every year end, when I look forward to welcoming the new, hopeful year with doubtful promises. If I were to ask myself what's improved for me this year, I'd say quite a lot and yet some things that should have improved still remain stagnant.
As I ready myself to grow another year older, I still hold great hope that I might find a solution, if not salvation from this long term disease. There are red reminder strings on my fingers to not grow uptight, firm and stern because my work environment can so do that to you, and to remmeber to have fun and have minute doses of craziness.
I've thought of closing this down because my life has become so private and secluded, only to be shared amongst the (very few) people I truly love and care about. Then again I've realised that from the way I've been writing, vague and undescriptive with just a hint of triggering reminders, this virtual place, is a solution to my laziness in keeping a written journal.
Typing works so much faster, and my thoughts tend to be more tangible before disappearing off so quickly. It's just a place for me to read, re-read and remember my life, maybe not now but when I'm older.
I'm guessing there's an option where I can choose not to publish what I write but I've yet to discover it.
I'm awfully out of touch with a few people that I know I need to be in touch with and have been trying to reach me, I apologise for that. I will make a greater effort.
I realise that I'm a pretty bad story teller, and I sometimes say things with no point at end. But that's how this whole charade is, you play along with this game, go with the flow and there may never even be a point to it all. It's the journey, I keep telling myself that. Funny.
Again, no point to this post.